Page 10 - Powerful Feminine Qualities

Jatayu, and Garud. He established the importance of eka patni vratah. A man of good character should be faithful by
the vow of marriage to only one woman, his wife, throughout life. Thus, the Lord did not practice polygamy. The Lord’s
rule or Rama Rajya was exemplary. The Lord exhibited the behavior of an ideal king who is ready to sacrifice His
personal life for the welfare of the people and lead them on the path back to Godhead.
After the defeat of the demon Ravana who kidnapped Sita, Rama was obliged by negative public opinion in His capital
of Ayodhya to separate Himelf from His beloved wife. There were lingering rumors that Sita was contaminated
because She was the captive of Ravana for over a year. Sita underwent the ordeal of fire. To prove Her chastity and
faithfulness to Rama, She willingly entered into a blazing fire and stayed in it for some time. Not even Her sari was
singed by the ferocious fire. Agni deva, the fire demigod, escorted Her out of the fire and handed Her back to Rama. In
spite of this proof, people still harbored rumors about Her. To neutralize the negative public opinion, Rama exiled His
sinless wife to the ashram of Valmiki Muni even though She was pregnant at that time.
The truly remarkable Sita did not begrudge Rama because she understood His purpose – an ideal ruler must be
respected by the people and must be above all suspicion and criticism. When Lakshman left Sita in Valmiki’s ashram,
Sita sorrowfully asked Lakshman to tell Lord Rama that for a married woman, her husband is her worshipable deity,
her friend and her preceptor. She must use her life to help her husband reach his goals. In order to rule, Rama needed
to be an ideal king of exemplary character. Therefore, He went so far as to exile His wife who was faultless. He
accepted to live without the pleasure of having His family close to Him so that there would not be a hint of criticism of
His authority. He gave up His personal happiness to rule the kingdom with the respect and appreciation of the citizens.
For modern women the challenge in life occurs when they realize their husband is far from being like Lord Rama. This
often happens because both the husband and wife were not trained properly in the principles of Krishna
consciousness by their parents or teachers. Thus, their idealized conception of a perfect marriage until death is
tarnished by a relationship that becomes based on lust and its concomitant side effects of anger, greed, deception,
delusion, resentment and eventually breaking of the vows of marriage and seeking new partners. They may end up
living in loneliness and disgust struggling to exist with children and work imperatives. Many varied scenarios evolve
from broken marriages. The effect on children and society can be very detrimental due to legions of children that grow
up without proper parental supervision and affection.
When a wife remains chaste and dedicated to her husband, even if he is of bad character, there is always a possibility
that he may be transformed by acceptance of the principles of Krishna consciousness. In extreme cases where the
husband is addicted to drugs and alcohol or violence and other dangerous behavior, separation is recommended until
he can gain control of his bad habits. If he cannot, then permanent separation is possible. Nevertheless, divorce is
never recommended, except in the most unbearable situations, such as if the husband is an inveterate blasphemer of
Krishna and his devotees.
The best course for a woman who is contemplating marriage is to develop Krishna consciousness before marriage in
order to get the training and experience of the regulated life of devotion and spiritual initiation. By becoming a
genuine devotee, one has the discrimination to choose a suitable husband of similar devotional qualities.
If a young girl who is already married without the proper discrimination realizes that she has made a mistake, the best
course is to become Krishna conscious. Then she can either gently and patiently attempt to inspire the husband to
become a devotee, or at least pacify the husband with good behavior so that he respects his wife’s choice to lead a
spiritual life. There are many examples of women who have maintained their marriage even though the husband is not
a devotee, which will be mentioned in this later.
Anasuya continued:
"O, Sita! On reflection, I perceive none who is a better friend than a husband, who protects his wife in all
circumstances, like the imperishable fruit of one's austerities. Those evil women, whose hearts follow their passions
and conduct themselves dominating their husband, having no understanding of virtue and vice, do not follow him in
the previously mentioned manner. O, Sita! Surely, those evil women, who get into an improper act of authority over
their husbands, reap infamy and decline in righteousness." (VR 2.117)

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